The more I live the more I realize how complicated people are. I'm coming to this realization at the funny age where no one keeps things from me any more, but I'm still use to to not being let in on the big secrets. The creaking of a door followed by cold voices--looking back at messages come months ago acknowledgement come yesterday. Why I never saw these things before, I can blame on lack of experience or youth, but if you know me you'll know I hate youth as any excuse (especially when it comes to ideas and writing). It's all a game really and when your finally let in on the secrets you realize just how intricate the game is. It's then you realize you've been playing your own game and not even realizing it. Maybe you have even been the complication--or are the one creating it. Other times it's distant, which might be the worst because you have no words to heal something distant. I will also say that aside from the game I have found that people are better than we give them credit for. This idea is of corse the reason I get so discouraged when people disprove this theory, but sometimes my own thoughtlessness makes me one of those people. On top of all this I'l admit I'm seeing all these faults everywhere after England I want to go back so badly. Anyways old age is making me cynical they all said this would happening and now I'm seeing the things I never would have a year ago. Write again soon. I'll put up a picture I took over a year ago but I was looking back at it. I think it looks like a bird made out of clouds. Of corse the clouds are minipulated by an airplane. It's a natural picture inspired by human rythms. Missing Oxford incredibly wish I were moving east on sunday instead of west....
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