Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Things you can learn from standing in line


I honestly think you can learn more standing in a taco line than you can from half your classes. You have psychology, nutrition, and my personal favorite, stories. And the cost is minimum, in fact if you were really low on cash you could stand in the line until it's your turn then politely excuse yourself remembering you are allergic to 95% of the ingredients. It's your free education embrace. The only problem is you can never get people to stay in the taco line long enough for a full story, they all seem to walk away with their stories after they get their taco, strange really. I suppose that is when writers come in, they make up the other half of the story. As a writer you end up finding the oddest things that intrigue you.
I remember looking a someones feet that were twisted and worn, and I thought wow I want to be friends with those feet. Those feet have been places. Mine looked so young in comparison, but when I looked up and saw the girl she was my age. Maybe her feet had just seen more, been to more places, dealt with more things. Feet are funny like that, they can tell your life experiences that you try to cover on your face. Anyways those are my thoughts I'll give you some more tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Is double really better?

Is double really better? I sure wouldn't say so about doubling my jean size, or the price of gas. But what about a college major? Is more better? I feel like I'm drowning in all of these misconceptions about majors, minors, certificates and what have you...everyone seems to be pushing for more and more. I'm trying to figure it all out myself, should I double major and take the college for what it's worth? But in the process of that am I losing something else, something we use to go to college for a long time ago... love of the subject? Isn't being passionate about one subject just as important as getting your twelve degrees or what have you. I'm not really sure at this point, but I can tell you that after dabbling a bit in other subjects I still feel most comfortable in an English class. And I write, not for class, but for love. I research for writing, I read to help my writing, I listen and think of writing, I observe and put it into words: is this not important? Should I be stuck in a text book instead, hyperventilating over reqs like I've been doing for the past year. I do think I would like being an ot, so I can help other people develop writing as a stress reducer, but do I need to double major, no. I've also been looking at Oxford and it looks like they want a focused candidate, someone who loves their subject. Of course Oxford is slightly ridiculous to get into...but who knows crazier things have happened. So what if I focus on writing and start looking at agents instead of spreading myself thin. So for now I think I'll stick to writing and hopefully everything else will just fall into place.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Waking up is getting a little out of control


"I love sleep. My life has the tendency of falling apart when I'm awake, you know?" ~ Earnest Hemingway. I think Hemingway had it right, life easily falls out of place during the conscience hours. I remember having a wonderful sleep last night, I was very productive in my dreams, if only that was my life. When I'm awake everything seems to be slipping and words are continuously falling out of my mouth before my brain has time to parent it.
I've been thinking a lot about perceptions lately, and if we are who we perceive we are. I'm nervous that I've turned into someone I wouldn't like. At times I have a strong sense of who I am, but other times if I'm distracted and give a snap answer or am thoughtless I think well that wasn't really the kind of person you are in your day dreams. Of course it is very difficult to be the person we dream up and short answers and snap judgements come easy with stress. I always find the more alone time I have the closer I become to myself...if that makes any sense. It's funny although I was thousands of miles away I felt very much like myself in England and oddly enough closer to some people in America. Of course I missed home and my family but I was able to see it from a new perspective looking west. Maybe that is why we love dreams so much because we are alone and can see ourselves and everyone we are close to from a new view, an unconscious view point.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Pain: yours, mine, and ours


Ever since Christopher Rick's gave that lecture on pain, I have been thinking about the representation of pain. I think it is true that no one can feel an other's pain, or feel the pain that was once theirs but no longer exists. And who is to measure our pain? If the atrocity, circumstance, aliment (creator of the pain) is different for everyone who gets to have a painometer? As Austen says one half of the world doesn't understand the pleasure of the other, isn't' that true with pain one half doesn't understand the pain of another? Is pain measured by severity? Does a starving person always hurt more than a person who is well fed but broken from words? I remember when I skated I got a very bad cut on my leg that got infected and became green. When I finally brought it in to the doctor they told me I was very lucky I came in when I did because it could have become gangrene which in very bad cases ends in amputation. I remember being frightened and wasn't able to walk on it for a few days, but I really don't have any recollection of the pain. However there are words, rejections, places that when I think about still hurt. So what is pain? And what is the pain of others, it certainly is not ours, and yet isn't it our responsibility to try and understand?