Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I never realized that...


The more I live the more I realize how complicated people are. I'm coming to this realization at the funny age where no one keeps things from me any more, but I'm still use to to not being let in on the big secrets. The creaking of a door followed by cold voices--looking back at messages come months ago acknowledgement come yesterday. Why I never saw these things before, I can blame on lack of experience or youth, but if you know me you'll know I hate youth as any excuse (especially when it comes to ideas and writing). It's all a game really and when your finally let in on the secrets you realize just how intricate the game is. It's then you realize you've been playing your own game and not even realizing it. Maybe you have even been the complication--or are the one creating it. Other times it's distant, which might be the worst because you have no words to heal something distant. I will also say that aside from the game I have found that people are better than we give them credit for. This idea is of corse the reason I get so discouraged when people disprove this theory, but sometimes my own thoughtlessness makes me one of those people. On top of all this I'l admit I'm seeing all these faults everywhere after England I want to go back so badly. Anyways old age is making me cynical they all said this would happening and now I'm seeing the things I never would have a year ago. Write again soon. I'll put up a picture I took over a year ago but I was looking back at it. I think it looks like a bird made out of clouds. Of corse the clouds are minipulated by an airplane. It's a natural picture inspired by human rythms. Missing Oxford incredibly wish I were moving east on sunday instead of west....

Friday, August 13, 2010

Scotland


Keep pushing north through the hills and lakes up up you go to Scotland. The hills of England eventually become mountains of Scotland. The first thing I noticed about Scotland was the terrain, it's nestled in the heart of forbading mountains protecting the nation. I went to Scotland with very little sleep. But I didn't notice my exhaustion till I got back the next morning Edinburgh distracted me with it's beauty.
The first things we did when we got to Scotland was go to breakfast. We went to this little cafe called St. Giles and had the most amazing waffles and bacon. Real bacon the sort of strips you get back in the states. After this meal I have made the hypothesis that Scotland's food is superior to England's. Then we headed up to the castle and the royal mile. In front of the castle was a large stadium set up for a festival called the Military tattoo. According to the woman I met with on nursing Scotland has a very strong military, which makes sense because there are a few museums and of corse this festival dedicated to it. The castle is built into the side of a small mountain. The whole city looks ancient and has a beautiful yet dark feel to it. The castle has an amazing view of the sea and the city below. It reminds you of how it use to be when the warriors were looking over the walls with a perfect view of intruders coming from either the mountains or the ocean. There were lots of different museums and things within the castle which kept us occupied for a long time.
Next we ventured to the craigs which is the group of mountains just outside the city centre. We decided to climb the highest mountain I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was very very steep and rocky hence craigs. There were times when you could have easily fallen off the face of the mountain, but we survived! At the top you could see for miles and miles of ocean and mountains. After taking a break at the top we walked back down and grabbed dinner in the Elephant house which is where JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter. Feel very inspired before boarding the plane for our second flight of the day.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Wales


Secret places are meant to be discovered. The ocean was not meant to be ignored and I was meant to find gower. Gower is a pennsilla in Wales, and it is debatably the most beautiful beach I have ever been to. It has a rocky coast line and caves which we explored. One of the caves was so dark and you had to turn on your side in order to walk further. It reminded me of treasure Island. The place itself looked like the where the horcrux was stored in the 6th Harry Potter book. It was absouetley perfect. I found it by asking some people in Starbucks what was nice to see in Wales. Some one mentioned the gowers which is closer to swansea than cardiff(where we were staying). So I reasearched when we got back to the hostel and found out we had to go to Swansea to catch a bus to Gower. When we finally got to gower we were awe struck it was amazing, and not crowded at all.
It definatley made the trip!
Yesterday I went to Blehiem palace where Sir Winston Churchill was born. It was wonderful. Fountains and amazing carvings. And of corse lots of displays on Churchill whom I love! He was anything but an appeaser. I found out he was however a painter. Some of his art even got made into Christmas cards.
Tomorrow off to Scotland for a day trip. Waking up at 2 to leave at 3 and back tomorrow morning at 3 kinda crazy! I'll keep you posted!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Clutter

Clutter~my mind is a giant room of cluttered books, cluttered clothes imploding in on me. I have about five different place to direct my thoughts and yet none of them settle on anyone subject. It's like my mind is opening up one of the books in the cluttered space and reads for a few moments that swiftly replaces it a new. I'm afraid lot's of the books in my mind are children's books and that my reasoning is (as one of my professors told me) native. But I can't focus on one thought for too long or I might brake routine.

Yesterday I met with the woman who is an expert on nurses of WW1. She was fascinating, and had a lot to say about the realities of war, it makes me very nervous writing, I want to do some justice to the period. I think perhaps i will phrase my book as a book that takes place behind the war, not necessarily about the way. My book has a plot which of corse makes it fictional, and I think it would be more honest to phrase it this way.

One of my professors gave me some harsh criticism about my writing, more so than I've already written about in the blog. It makes me feel like I should have stuck with the nursing path, or teaching...I could have been good at either. I wanted to be a nurse or a doctor in the worst way until I was about seventeen, I think that is why this book has so much of the medical involved. I still think it's interesting and I'm still petrified I should have gone into it instead. But with ot, hopefully I'll get to do both.

Today I went on a Harry Potter tour of Oxford. We saw the stair case where all the first years come in and the great hall which was filmed in Christ church. It was pretty much how you would picture it. Sometimes I feel like i'm going to school at Hogwarts...I wish i were magical it would certainly take care of all these career issues. What do you do? Oh i'm a wizard. No questions asked. That is a pretty impressive title. Speaking of magic I saw a pretty good magic show last night at the cape of good hope. The magician is there every monday. He told me I made him nervous, I hope I don't make people nervous but I'm around performers all the time at home it's quite easy for me to be a little skeptical. Anyways i thought the show was brilliant.
Off to Wales tomorrow, I'm not sure if they have internet so it may be a while till I can write again.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Not quite sure

J.K Rowling said that failure is what you learn best from, that it is necessary. I hope she failed sometimes, then I could relate. Sometimes I feel like I'm a swimmer in the Olympics and I'm hoping no one will notice that I only have the skills of a life guard. As a writer I question everything about myself, and perhaps the question I raise most is: What give me the right to write this story? But then I remember that I was given this story, and stories come to people for different reasons, and it just so happens that you need to write the one your given-no matter how ill equipped you feel. And I think that, and I could be wrong, if you go with what you are given you will figure it out and write something important. This could all be wrong of corse and I may stand corrected hundreds of times over, but this is at least what I feel now.

Tomorrow I'm heading off to London to meet with a woman who is an expert on nurses in WW1. This should give me a better grip on particulars. I need to ask about the training of the nurses and have other very particular questions. Again I hope I am prepared enough for this meeting. I'm thinking I will do something other things in London because I bought an all day pass and I want to get use out of it. I don't have too much else to say today. Lots of work and a paper. Write tomorrow.